


The Devil made me do it

by MercurySkies



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Confessions, Demon!Shane, Demons, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, shyanexchange2k18, shyanwritingevents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercurySkies/pseuds/MercurySkies
Summary: “Alright forgive me father for I have sinned...” he starts on autopilot and then his mind screeches to a halt, the urge to spill his secrets momentarily overwhelming. Maybe it’s because he knows Ryan is listening, the only person in all the planes of existence Shane has ever felt guilty for lying to. Maybe demons can be penitent after all. “I think ghosts are baloney.”





	The Devil made me do it

“Aww c’mon Shane!” An unearthly voice whines in his ear “Let us have some fun!” Shane simply shakes his head and checks his watch. They’re on a filming break at their most recent location for Unsolved, an abandoned convent out in the sticks somewhere in South Dakota. Ryan had called the break immediately after a brief stint on his own locked in the confessional of the convent’s dilapidated chapel. Shane doesn’t blame him for almost losing his mind in there, all the Hail Mary’s are making even him a little jumpy but it’s only natural for a lesser demon to be a little spooked by all that religious imagery. Zag seems to have no such qualms, lurking around every corner as demons are wont to do and following them both around the grounds like a stray hellhound.

“Fun? Your idea of fun varies wildly from throwing a book across the room to tearing someone limb from limb. No, nope, no fun for you.” Shane rolls his eyes, kicking a stray stone across the overgrown courtyard. Zag clicks his tongue, surveying the comings and goings of their little crew with a disinterested eye.

“Little brother,” he drawls affectionately, a clawed hand landing heavily on Shane’s shoulder, “you are so protective, so _human_.” Shane hums, waving at Ryan from where he emerges from a ramshackle archway on the opposite side of the quad.

“Too human for some, not enough for others.” He says from the corner of his mouth, pushing off the wall and making his way toward Ryan.

“Not human enough for the boy?” Hisses another voice and a snake-like figure appears at Zag’s side, her jagged and serrated scales, rasping menacingly. “His soul is bright,” an eight foot tall rabbit headed being growls slyly, “but he is far from pure...” There’s a chorus of sinister sounding laughter “If you know what I mean.” He winks with sunken, blood red eyes.

“He’ll _come_ to the dark side, if you know what _I_ mean.” A gratingly high pitched voice sounds from somewhere in the vicinity of Shane’s ankles.

Shane grimaces, unable to reply to his rambunctious, demonic siblings as he nears Ryan. Being a lesser demon, a low ranking runt of the legions of Hell, it’s maybe a wonder how he made it this far. Below is as hellhound eat hellhound as it is dog eat dog topside. Demons, naturally, can be a power hungry bunch and someone like Shane would be easy pickings, a little dark soul snack. His lack of power has, however, worked beautifully in his favour. Hell is full of greed, so why sit down for a meal when you can feast? The majority of his belligerent brethren simply don’t consider him worth the time or effort, if they even consider him at all. The exception is his ‘family’, a collection of monstrosities that have coveted him as the cutest cacodemon there ever was and they’ve been alive for millennia longer than Shane himself. Shane’s demonic life has become a warped coming of age movie, a tale of found family, a ride or die bunch of devilish misfits that would, and have, both killed and died for each other in numerous combinations and a variety of inventive ways. Shane for all his protests, as is customary for a little brother, is glad to have them, even if they do tease him relentlessly and have taken a strange and somewhat vulgar liking to Ryan.

“Hey Ry!” He says, attempting to ignore his siblings’ snickering. He can no longer see them but he knows they won’t be leaving them alone any time soon. Much like Shane, they can’t resist Ryan’s kaleidoscope soul, refracting light and emotion. Of course there is always the fear, that sweet, cloying, fragrant _fear_. “You ready to get back to busting ghouls?” He asks with a grin. He can already feel the apprehension sloughing off him in waves. It’s a far cry from the terror he’d absolutely reeked of as he’d come stumbling out of the confessional box. Right now he looks cold and nervous and so God damn adorable he can hear the others cooing at him and it makes Shane smile, makes something warm and fuzzy wiggle in his belly. Believe it or not it makes Shane happy that his little family seem to like his best friend so much, even though they’d scare him to death if given half the chance.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Ryan says laughing weakly. “It’s your turn in the confessional big guy. Sure you can handle it?” His words fall halfway between taunting and concerned and it seems Ryan is a little less tense than Shane had previously thought. He pulls his jacket tighter around himself, his brows pinching a little. Shane bites his lip. Ryan must’ve picked up on how all this Jesus, Mary and Joseph-ing is putting his sacrilegious ass a little on edge. He laughs, determined to melt away the worried crease between his brows. It is tempting to rile him up, to scare him, let himself be intoxicated by Ryan’s fear, but seeing worry on Ryan’s face, worry for Shane and the care behind it? That’s new. That’s special. That’s _sacred_.

“You betcha cowboy!” He crows, throwing an arm around Ryan’s shoulders as they follow the rest of the team back inside and toward the chapel. “Forgive me father for I have sinned,” he starts and boisterous laughter sounds from both the crew and his invisible cohort, “it’s been zero days since I last professed that ghosts are bullshit.”

“Ahh the deadliest sin.” Ryan laughs.

“Deadly indeed, brother.” Zag’s voice whispers, laced with menace and mischief.

 

* * *

 

Shane tucks his ungainly limbs into the confessional and finds it’s actually quite cozy. The small space is dark and quiet and smells of dust and splintering wood. It should feel confining, like a prison cell, especially to someone of his kind. Instead he feels strangely at peace, secluded in solitude. He can see the appeal to the concept all of a sudden, somewhere safe and secret to offload your sins, seek forgiveness and betterment by beseeching a higher power. A sanctuary. There are no sanctuaries for his kind. Then again, demons are rarely penitent.

A loud knock on the confessional door startles him and he jerks, slamming a knobbly knee into the wood with a dull, echoing thud. “Get on with it dude, I’m freezing my ass off out here!” Ryan calls through the wood and Shane looks down, fiddles with the camera mounted on his chest.

“Stop talking about your ass in church and take a damn pew.” He calls back.

“ _You_ stop talking about my ass in church!” The smile in Ryan’s voice is evident as he argues with him childishly.

“I’ll talk about your ass wherever I God damn please!” Shane replies and then snaps his mouth shut so quickly his teeth click together painfully.

“Smooth.” Aym hisses, his snake-like sibling slithering around unseen. He can feel his arm get heavy with her weight coiling around his left forearm.

“Fuck off.” He hisses back and he shakes his arm loose.

Family or not the presence of the meddlesome demons is starting to piss him off and he finds himself longing for a lumpy bed back in the hotel room he’s sharing with Ryan. “Alright,” he mutters fiddling with the spirit box, trying to find the on button with extremely limited visibility in what is essentially God’s closet in which Shane is the presiding skeleton “let’s get this show on the road.” He winces as the devil’s boombox bursts to life, the dissonant screeching of stuttering radio waves as grating as they’ve always been.

“Spirits!” He calls “My name’s Shane I’m just here to hang you know, just shoot the shit, what’s the ghostly 411?” He can hear Ryan’s wheeze through the wood, pressed up against the door so he can listen in.

 

_Con- fess_

 

The half formed word sounds garbled from the crackling box and Shane rolls his eyes. He can hear Ryan’s gasp even over the jarring sounds still emanating from the device. “Alright forgive me father for I have sinned...” he starts on autopilot and then his mind screeches to a halt, the urge to spill his secrets momentarily overwhelming. Maybe it’s because he knows Ryan is listening, the only person in all the planes of existence Shane has ever felt guilty for lying to. Maybe demons can be penitent after all. “I think ghosts are baloney.” He says instead, his heart pounding and he knows this is yet more footage he’ll have to blame on questionable airport snacks.

 

_We know you have a crush on Ryan._

 

Another response escapes the device, sounding much too clear, the voice much too like Zag’s. Panic seizes him. “What the fuck?!” He hears Ryan’s increasingly shrill voice start chanting and suddenly Shane is punched in the gut with the aroma of his unadulterated fear. “What did it say? Shane?” The spirit box slips from Shane’s grasp and clatters noisily to the floor before the static abruptly halts. “Shane!” Ryan calls and suddenly the door to the confessional is wrenched open revealing a wide eyed Ryan. Shane freezes for a second, trying to breathe through the scent of Ryan’s terror and focus despite the raucous laughter of a horde of demons echoing in his ears.

“Nothing!” He shouts, scrambling for the broken device and handing it to Ryan as he stumbles from the confessional. “It said ghosts are bullshit and Ryan’s an idiot.” He tries to smile but he knows he must look demented. He runs a shaking hand through his hair and makes a desperate attempt to compose himself.

Ryan’s fear isn’t abating, the cacophony of scent and sound slams into Shane like a freight train. His skin crawls as he gazes around the empty chapel, decaying icons judging him with heavenly eyes. “Jesus Shane are you okay?” Ryan asks, eyes so wide in fear and Shane shakes with it, overwhelmed and unprepared. Everything is spiralling out of control and of course it’s Zag’s doing. Never trust a demon.

“Stop.” He growls, his voice unearthly but he is no match for the ancient evil that call themselves his brothers and sisters. The door to the chapel slams shut and Ryan races for it, throwing his body against the wood with a yelp but it doesn’t budge, won’t budge until they see fit to release them. The building seems to shake, crosses turning and icons weeping blood from unblinking eyes. They’re pulling out all the stops, utilising every trick in the book, every cliché and it’s working. Ryan’s fear is suffocating.

Shane stands, rooted to the spot in the middle of the aisle, the pews on either side of him feel as though they’re packed with angels and saints and devoted parishioners, damning him all over again. At any other time, with anyone else he’d be crying with laughter but this is different. Ryan is so scared and for once so is Shane. This is it, the moment he could lose everything he cares about on the mortal plane all because his family only knows how to be cruel to be kind. Ryan hurries back to him, shouting at him to move and then he’s hugging him, tight and crushing and Shane wraps his arms around him on instinct, shielding him despite the lack of any real danger. Ryan clutches at his shirt and Shane cradles him close to his chest, his heart pounding a staccato rhythm against his ribcage as he waits for Zag and the others to tire of their little game.

He should’ve known that there is no end to the lengths Zag will go to. The chapel grows silent and still. It’s eerily abrupt and the air feels dank and stagnant. Cautiously, Ryan begins to loosen his grip on Shane’s shirt but Zag materialises behind him, a dangerous clawed hand reaching out toward him. Shane feels himself move before he even consciously considers taking a step. He feels something shift and he blinks to find his own clawed hands squeezing Zag’s throat, the demon pinned up against the chapel door. “Enough.” He growls in a voice he barely recognizes as his own.

“Finally little brother,” Zag chokes out, kicking futilely at the door behind him “your true capabilities emerge.”

“If I had the power I would kill you right here Zag.” He threatens and he can faintly hear Ryan’s harsh breathing above the pounding in his ears. He looks down at his hand, greying and clawed and grotesque and realises the cat really is out of the bag now. Zag laughs and the sound makes Shane grit his teeth. “Oh brother you’ve had the power all along. You just lacked the right... Motivation.”

Shane can feel the presence of his other siblings as they begin to materialise around him and he drops Zag unceremoniously, as he steps back from the door. They all appear, looks of fondness and pride adorning their marred features. “You’re a lesser demon,” Ron, the rabbit headed being growls, “not because you are weak but because you are much kinder than any demon has any right to be.” The others nod and Zag approaches him, face softer than Shane has ever seen it.

“We are old. We have been driven by a need for power, by greed and lust and pride and glory for most of our existence. But you?” Zag places his hands on Shane’s shoulders and looks at him with more affection than Shane ever thought him capable of. “You’re rare. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, freshly fallen, I knew your only desires are mischief and love.” He turns him to face Ryan who stands, watching with wild eyes, wringing his hands in front of him, terrified and unsure.

“S-Shane?” He calls, voice hoarse and quiet. “Shane, what the fuck is going on?” His voice cracks and he takes a hurried step backward as Shane tries to approach him. This fear, of which he is the cause, is foul and Shane hates it. He raises his hands in surrender.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned,” he starts and continues to move forward, carefully, as if placating a startled animal, “it’s been over a century since my last confession, since I was cast out.” Ryan backs up against the altar at the other end of the chapel, he still looks scared, Shane can smell it, but he’s not trying to run away. Ryan’s pervasive sense of curiosity, even in the face of danger, makes him smile. “I haven’t been honest with you Ryan, not entirely.”

“You’re a demon,” Ryan deadpans, eying Shane warily as he nears him, “and you’ve got some kind of demon posse following you around.” That startles a laugh out of him and he shoves his hands deep in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out.

“Yeah I’m a demon.” He shrugs “These guys,” he glances round at his fellow demons, now in human forms in order to appear less threatening “are my family.” He smiles nervously. He’s considering disowning Zag, the instigator of this whole mess, but he doesn't need to know that yet.

“Not by blood of course.” Vass, now a lanky man with long blond hair and no longer a 6 inches tall rat-like creature, pipes up cheerfully.

“We have a bond.” Ron says sagely, still almost as large and hulking as his rabbit headed form except his human eyes are dark and kind.

“Sometimes family is your ghoulfriend and four ancient Hell beasts.” Shane quips, struggling to find the words to make this situation even slightly okay. Ryan seems to consider this, eyes flitting nervously from Shane, to the congregated demons and back again. Something softens in him.

“I’m family?” He asks, and it’s definitely not the question he’d been waiting for him to ask.

“Of course!” Zag chimes in, ignoring Shane’s glare. “Welcome to the family brother-in-law!”

“Brother-in-”

“Okay bye now literal family from Hell.” Shane chokes out, without looking at them. They try to protest but Zag quiets them and he feels their presences leave one by one until they’re finally blissfully alone.

Shane rubs a hand over his face and groans into his palms as he sinks down onto a pew. Embarrassment now coils tightly around the anxiety squirming in his stomach. He feels Ryan take a seat next to him quietly and Shane can’t bring himself to look at him, instead staying hunched over his knees as if in prayer. He just starts talking, trying to answer all of Ryan’s questions before he can even ask them. He explains that he never wanted to hide his true nature from him but he already had such a negative opinion of demons and he didn’t want to scare Ryan or end up being hated by him. So he kept the secret, to preserve what they have, to keep his place in Ryan’s life. He’s quiet for so long that Shane has half convinced himself that Ryan will never speak to him again before Ryan finally speaks up.

“I get it Shane.” He says, just as softly as before and when Shane looks up at him he sees him smiling and Shane feels truly blessed, more so than he’d ever felt beyond the pearly gates. “I couldn’t stay in the Sallie house with the mere notion that a demon was there it’s no wonder you thought I’d run away screaming if you revealed yourself. I’m not gonna lie it’s gonna take some getting used to but I essentially just got pranked by a bunch of demons and despite the fact I almost pissed my pants you’re all just a bunch of slightly murderous goofballs aren’t you?” Shane laughs at that, boisterous giggles bouncing around the empty chapel and echoing off the hallowed walls. He nods, grinning so widely his face is beginning to ache. “No more lies” Ryan says seriously “and I just have one more question for now and I want the truth.”

“Of course Ry.” Shane shifts to face him, watching nervously as Ryan hunches down into his jacket.

“Is it true?” He asks “Do you really have a crush on me?” Shane sighs, his heart clawing its way into his throat. This is it, the big confession, the reveal that’ll make or break them. Except he doesn’t get to say yes. The moment Shane meets Ryan’s gaze Ryan moves and before he can even register it his mouth is on his, kissing him within an inch of his life. It’s hurried and a little off centre but still soft, his hands cradling Shane’s face with an affection and reverence he’s sure he doesn’t deserve. He feels his own fingertips drag across the denim of Ryan’s jacket to the warm skin of his neck to finally rest on the sharp, stubbled curve of his jaw. He tugs him closer with an arm wrapped around his waist until they’re pressed together in the pews. Ryan lets out a whimper that startles him with how it echoes around them and Shane can’t help but huff out a breathless laugh against his lips. He pulls back only slightly, just enough to be able to see Ryan’s slow smile clearly.

“You’re really just saying a big ol’ fuck you to the folks upstairs right now.” He mutters and Ryan wheezes, curling in close as he shivers in the frigid air of the draughty chapel.

“Who would’ve thought, Ryan Bergara, no reservations about making out with a demon in God’s own home. _Nun_ whatsoever.” Ryan’s laugh is loud and boisterous, it sings, rings crisply through the still air like a choir singing hymns.

“Is it just ingrained in you to blaspheme at every available opportunity?” Ryan grins at him.

“Sorry baby, it’s a _habit_.” Shane winks. His heart pounds in his chest, elated but still thrumming with nervous energy. He can’t stop his foot from tapping, eyes darting across Ryan’s features as if he’ll simply disappear if he looks away for even a second. Ryan tentatively tangles their fingers together and pulls them to their feet, leading them both from the chapel and into the night. Shane’s skin still crawls, still feeling as though the heralds of heaven themselves are watching their every move but he’s content to keep his eyes fixed on Ryan.

 

* * *

 

Vass, Ron, Aym and Zag tiptoe along the labyrinthine corridors of the run down hotel, keeping to the shadows, lurking in the water stains on the ceilings, hiding in the blown bulbs of dated wall sconces. Four ancient entities, masters of disguise, stalking their prey, the two men stumbling ahead of them. Their targets trip over each others feet and the bumps and lumps in the fraying carpet. They laugh into each other’s mouths, tugging at clothes and clutching at hands, at waists, at asses. They find their way as if on autopilot, wrapped up in each other, drinking in the sight of the other under the harsh orange lights, the taste of each other on their tongues, breathy laughter and sighs, their own silly, salacious symphony.

Shane’s smile is brighter than they’ve ever seen it, and he’s truly on top form in a way that has the four foul creatures stalking him purr with pride. He gets unceremoniously shoved into a potted plant but it isn’t long before he gets his revenge and the group have to quell their own laughter and whistles as he pushes Ryan gently against their hotel room door, hands low on his hips and a mischievous look in his eye. Ryan is quick to turn the key in the lock and they fall through the door, matching grins spreading slowly as they’re drawn together like magnets, the door closing again to obscuring them from view.

Vass whoops loudly as Aym and Ron embrace in a congratulatory hug. Zag does his best to quiet them but suddenly Shane, sans a shirt, reemerges from the hotel room looking unimpressed. The group all shuffles their feet guiltily until Shane’s expression morphs into a crooked grin. He gives them all each a hearty high five before sending them back on their merry way to Hell. Shane slips back beyond the hotel room door as the four of them slink back into the shadows, leaving their brother and his human in peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I combined my partner's two prompts some sassy spirit box banter and a demon fam and this was the result! Thank you for reading I had a lot of fun with this!


End file.
